"Respect the power of grief. Know that it can affect you psychologically, physically, and spiritually in intense and sometimes surprising ways. Stay gentle with yourself."


art work processing grief


"Be open to the pain of your broken heart. God— and caring people— will enter through its brokenness."


art work processing grief



"Remain open to the hurt. You may think it easier to suppress the pain or avoid it with distractions and busyness. But eventually your emotions will surface; grief will demand your attention."


art work processing grief


"Cry. Your tears testify to your love. And tears that spring from love help bring healing and renewal. Let your tears express the harsh reality of your loss. And let them begin to wash away the sadness and pain."



" Stay connected to others. You need their presence, their support, their concern, their listening, their hugs. You need not be alone in your grief."




"Give yourself time to grieve. It may take several years just to accept the finality of a loss, that someone is gone forever, and even more to work through your emotions."



"Grieve in your own way. The pattern of your grief is unique, shaped by your particular relationship, specific circumstances, and distinctive temperament. Ignore others’ attempts to tell you how to feel or how long to feel."



"Expect to experience different stages in your grieving: shock, numbness, denial, depression, confusion, fear, anger, bitterness, guilt, regret, acceptance, hope. They may come in any order and any number of times."


Wileys my bengal cat mountain top


" Forgive yourself: for being angry or disappointed with others, including the one who died and left you; for being powerless to have prevented the loss; for everything you wish you had or hadn’t done."



"It’s OK to be angry with God. Something seems unreal and terribly wrong now— something is wrong now— and you may feel cheated. It’s perfectly right to acknowledge that."



"Your loss is not God’s punishment or God’s attempt to test you. 
Know that God shares the hurt in your heart and wants to lead you to new hope and peace; 
know that God grieves with you."



"When some persons' attempts to comfort you only deepen the hurt, forgive them for not understanding. Later, when you comfort someone else, remember what not to say."




"Be with those who also are grieving. As you tell your stories, you will share an understanding of the heart that is deeper than words."



"Learn from those who have experienced healing after loss. Their survival is reassuring proof that you, too, will endure. Their understanding and empathy are their greatest gifts to you."





"Where your wound is, there can be your greatest contribution. You know what it is to be vulnerable and in pain. Let that knowledge open you to others who are hurting."



"Let your grief be personal. In a letter, a poem, a drawing, a journal entry- or even in an imaginary conversation with the one you have lost - pour out the feelings you may never have had the chance to express. This will foster healing."




"Pray for and with the one who has died. The love between you is a spiritual bond that death cannot sever. What is most precious to us is not always what we can see or touch or be near."



"Mourn not just for the loss of what was but also for what will never be.

And then gently, lovingly let it go."


"Undertake new activities and create new rituals out of the past. Through them you can maintain the memory of your loved one, even as you embark on a different chapter in your life."



"Make small beginnings toward reshaping your life without the one you loved. Your efforts are seeds of hope that you cultivate into fruitful tomorrows."


"Anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, and more-the times that used to mean only joy and celebration....These can now be among the toughest of days. Observe them with care and simple ceremony to ease the pain."



"Celebrate your loved one with your own memories and the memories that others share with you. This celebration will keep your loved one with you and a part of you."


"Sometimes the best thing to do is to comfort yourself with small pleasures: a cup of tea, freshly cut flowers, a soothing bath or a good book, moments by the fire."


" In some ways, you never "get over" a loss. It inevitably changes you. You can choose whether that change is for the better."


"Sometimes your grief can be so overwhelming because it encompasses the grieving you never did for other, earlier losses in your life. Let yourself feel the pain of those losses too."



"When you find yourself doubting your capacity to recover, be patient and realize that the grief process, though lengthy, ultimately does bring healing."



"Let yourself feel good again. Laugh with friends, have fun. Living your life to the full is not betrayal of memory. Your loved one would want only the best for you."


"There may be a small place within you that remains hollow. Value it. This quiet, abiding feeling may be one of God's ways of sustaining the connection to your precious loved one."



"Tackle the emptiness. When you feel that your loss has drained your life of all direction or meaning or joy, present your nothingness to God. God has never been closer."



"Life matters, no matter how long or short. And it lasts. Trust that God's promise of unending life is real. And trust that your life today matters, too."



"It may seem that you'll never feel truly happy again. But be assured that you will- and your joy will have a richness and a debth that come from your having known profound pain and profound healing."



"There will come a time to remind yourself of your reasons for living. You have a future worth enduring for, and you deserve to find a renewed sense of purpose and pleasure in your life."



"You will reach a point where you can finally go for an hour, or a day, or a week without painful reminders of absence and emptiness. Look for new awakenings. Be open to rebirth."



"You have learned that you are not always in control of life's circumstances. Use your new awareness to become more in rhythm with the flow of life, more in harmony with its song."



"Your grieving is among the most sacred and the most human things you will ever do. It will plummet you into the mystery of life..and death..and resurrection. Honor it."



Text copyright © 1993 by Karen Katafiasz, Grief Therapy (Elf-help) Abbey Press. Kindle Edition.